I know parents specially mother’s would agree with me about this. We experience this sometimes and not just sometimes perhaps most of the time. Our children won’t stop, won’t listen, won’t do as you say- they’ll sometimes even yell at us. We have pleaded and reasoned with them all day, but all to no avail. We’ve finally had it with our kids misbehaviors, so we end up raising our voice and barking angry words- ultimately leaving our kids feeling hurt and angry. We , on the other end, don’t feel the least bit better either. Guilt feeling was there, I’ve always experience these one. ( Just this morning,  good thing that I didn’t raised my voice coz my daughter doesn’t want to take a bath and wants to go to school on an empty stomach… ggggrrrrr! I know you can relate with me)

Surely, parents don’t always mean what they let out. We may even be times when parents and other adults don’t realize how damaging our words can be.

Listed below are the things according to  many magazines that I’ve read we shouldn’t  say to our child/children :

<!--       1.“ Bad Girl”  or “You’re so________”  instead what we can say is:<!--[endif]-->

a)      “ anak, what you did is not acceptable’  or  “ I think Hannah you owe your brother an apology for breaking his toy”

b)      ‘I’ll help you pack away your toys to give you a head start. But you will have to clean  up the rest on your own.” instead of, “ You’re so lazy!”

      2 .‘Not now, I’m busy”—when kids routinely hear these statements from us, they will soon think that Daddy or Mommy does not have time to talk or to be with them—ever.<!--[endif]-->

Instead what we can say is:

            “ Mommy has to finish cooking, so I need the two of you to sit down and read quietly for a few minutes. As soon as im done, I’ll call you and we will talk things over, is that okey”  ( I know this is not easy to pull off, but with practice and discipline, it can be done)

.      3.“ Stop crying! You want me to spank you?”--- Threats are rarely effective. More so if the threat only confuses the child with its irony. How can child stops crying if she continues to fear she will get hurt? Studies shows that ordering a child to stop expressing strong emotions sends the message that it is not okay to be sad, angry or scared.

WhWhat we can say:

It is important to acknowledge the child’s emotions when you feel there is something wrong. It takes longer for kids ages 3 to 4 to talk about whats bothering them.

Help them choose the words they need to express themselves. Say ‘ Why are you crying? Were you frightened when Mommy raised her voice ? Mommy was upset too. We can talk now if you want ( When we are angry, I know it is impossible to have the tone of our voice mellow, but I have tried doing this and the feeling is great!) Be sharing more about similar things like these later. O! another thing a pastor once shared to me….. He is not also spared l  from all the experiences that we ‘ve experienced.. He has three (3) boys and we know that they are really hard to handle sometimes especially if they are teenagers already… So, what he always did everytime he is about to get mad or angry he will just call his boys or one of his boys  like this  “   Gods blessing/s come here, I have something to share with you” . According to him, what we say/or what confess, is what we will possess. If we say negative words to our children, what we will raised is a negative children. CHILDREN are blessing from GOD.